Feast to A Christmas Horror Story
It was the Holidays recently and a time for Christmas cheer and beers. The Diner's doors opened for the season to those who don't enjoy their family's cooking or can't cook themselves - we welcomed our patrons last month with a Christmas Feast Platter, mulled wine to warm chilled bones, and the review of A Christmas Horror Story.
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| Just look at this cover - why wouldn't you want to watch it? |
I know Krampus is out and everyone was pretty excited about it but it got mixed reviews. Well this one, also featuring the Krampus, is pretty damn good. Santa fighting Krampus is an amazing incentive and it's a great holiday horror.
Oh, and William Shatner is in this movie, as a Christmas radio host who gets drunk.
This wonderful film is actually four stories which take place in the same town, Bailey Downs, on Christmas Eve. Each is unique through the use of different horror genres but each also keeps to a Christmas theme and takes place in the same time frame. The stories don't play out consecutively, you'll see a scene from one story before it switches to the next. This structure works since the movie takes place on the day before and eve of Christmas all at the same time. Overall the movie is well put together, as is our Christmas Feast Platter which will come later.
The first story we encounter is actually the last - the one with Santa. He is at the North Pole preparing for Christmas with the elves and Mrs. Claus. One of the elves is ill and dies, later becoming a zombie and infecting the rest of the elves which Santa then must fight, along with 'other' Christmas evils.
This story is obviously the best one, but not just for cover reasons. It has the BEST twist those of us who watched have ever seen. The Christmas theme here... I can't even discuss because I wouldn't want to ruin it for patrons; however, the horror genres here are obvious - zombies and twist endings (like the Saw or Cube series).
The second story is first mentioned by the radio host: on the previous Christmas, Bailey Downs was hit with tragedy when two students were killed in a bizarre murder in the basement of a school. A group of media students have decided to make a documentary project about the murder and plan to capture footage at the scene. We see them reviewing police footage of the crime scene where an officer has something odd happen and the students discuss how the officer took leave after the incident; this is the backstory for the officer who is part of another story.
You can assume what the genre is by the mention of 'documentary'. Except it doesn't end up that way. It seems like the creators had a change of heart because it became a mild tale of haunting. The Christmas theme here is the Virgin Birth. The students are in an old convent, they spend time in a room where there are life sized nativity dolls, and the reason behind the haunting all point to this. It was the one story lacking.
The third story is that of the officer, Scott, mentioned previously. He, his wife Kim, and his son Will are cutting down their own tree for Christmas but Scott decides to do so on private property. On their way back out, Will becomes lost in the woods and his parents find him at an old tree. When the family gets home they realize something is wrong and some folk lore comes into play (not the Krampus).
Scott's backstory actually provided more depth to the family's situation, making the tale more interesting. The combination of mythology and home invasion suited this story perfectly, and the holiday theme of spending time with family was a natural fit here.
The fourth story starts with a family of four on their way to visit a distant and rich aunt, played by Corinne Conley who was also in Wolf Cop - a movie you should definitely check out. Each family member has their own issues and none want to be on the trip. When the family arrives it's an awkward reunion and they learn the tale of the Krampus from the aunt and her grounds keeper, played by Julian Richings whose been in a few good movies. After an incident involving a Krampus statuette, they are kicked out of the aunts home and encounter the fiend in the woods.
The characters in this story were again in-depth through the use of short scenes of them travelling in a car together. You see how they interact, making good use of a small amount of time to tell the story. The creature feature works well with the tale of the Krampus since he is considered a demon and the theme here is the spirit of Christmas - but a perverted version of it.
Overall - Good Christmas Horror
This was a great movie to watch over the Holidays, and we're sorry your food came late. It was busy in the kitchen.We Recommend you check out this film... and now for the food.
The MENU (Mini-Feast)
The Meat Platter does not have a recipe. It's simply rolled up deli-meats made to look lovely.
We made our own spinach dip using a cashew cream base rather than sour cream, and it turned out great!
Cashew Sour Scream - er Cream
1/4 cup Milk or Almond Milk
1 tbsp Lemon Juice
Salt to taste
- Demolish Cashews in a food processor with the other ingredients. The lemon juice and salt combination create a sour cream taste.
1/2 Sweet Red Pepper, chunks
1/3 cup Mayo
1 Finger Pepper
- Add the ingredients and blend in the food processor. Serve it with crackers, bread, or chips!
1/2 Apple, chopped
1/3 cup chopped Walnuts
1/4 cup Dried Cranberries
- Add the ingredients together in a bowl and add some sweet or roasted flavour dressing.
Salt & Pepper to taste
1 tbsp Butter or Margarine
1 cup Milk or Almond Milk
1/3 cup Green Onion
1/4 cup Bacon Bits
- Boil water in a pot and peel the skin from your Potatoes, if you wish. Place them in the water and reduce heat slightly. Let them sit for 2 or 3 hours to soften.
- Once they have, remove them from the water and to a mixing bowl or other large bowl. Mash'em with your masher, or another bowl, or a mallet if you don't have one - get creative in your Potato murder.
- Add the Milk and Butter or Margarine to the Potatoes and continue to (s)mash until the chunks are gone, then use a spatula or whisk to whip them up.
- Place your Mashed Potatoes back into a pot on low heat to keep them warm. Add Salt & Pepper.
- Chop the Green Onion and stir them and the Bacon bits to the potatoes. Ready to serve.
1/2 tsp Oregano
1 tsp Sage
Nutmeg or Cinnamon
1/2 cup Wild Whiskey Smoked BBQ Sauce by Club House or other Smoked Whiskey BBQ Sauce
1/4 cup Dijon Mustard
Slider Buns
- In a bowl combine Turkey, Oregano, Sage and Nutmeg or Cinnamon, whichever you choose.
- Cook the Ground Turkey in a skillet over medium heat. Once it starts to cook, stir in the BBQ Sauce and wait a minute before adding the Mustard.
- Toast the slider buns if you want and finish cooking the Turkey. Put the Turkey on the buns and serve with condiments for your guests.
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